i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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