i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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