$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
