i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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