I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
