You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
