Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize