you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I could fuck to npr.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
