Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
