quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
