I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
