i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
