I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
