Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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