Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
