I want to stick my p in your. b.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
