we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
