Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ya dads aren't the best wingmen

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(732): View more from New Jersey

she woke up with a sticky ear

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..

(614): View more from Ohio

ya and it worked didnt it??

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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(703): View more from Virginia

screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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(206): View more from Washington

you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.

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