There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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