haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
