update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Panties = found
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
