All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
