i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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