but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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