I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
