i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
