And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize