Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If that was your dad, he is hot
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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