Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
