Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
worst night to have a conscience
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
