You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
