For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you inspire me to be a worse person
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
