I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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