Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
