ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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