hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm always down for nudity.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
