She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize