Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
