Dual....:-)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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