At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
