oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
