if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize