Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you still have your period?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
