If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
