If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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