An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Randomize
