I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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