i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
