I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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