Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
