god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
