didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it hurts more in the daytime
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize