I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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