Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had sex on a roof
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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