You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
