Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
