I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
