A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
