Do you still have your period?
nutella sex= disaster
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
